A message from the heavens Mountain View

June 6, 2007

Google likes to break the ice.The following excerpt is based on a true story. Some details may have been changed for entertainment purposes.

goog13: hey, want to work on youtube? timealterer: wtf, seriously? goog13: ya we found your resume, lets do an interview timealterer: omfg i’m not even done my degree goog13: oh crap we didn’t notice that goog13: talk to you next year timealterer: sweet

Getting a job inquiry from Google is such an outlandish sort of thing, that my friends and I suspected it of being spam when I got it. It makes sense in hindsight, though, since Google has all the data on the web as its weapon. I assume they have a top secret Future Googler Search that allows you to search through all the resumes on the internet using special voodoo. The moral of this story is threefold:

1. Just because it’s too good to be true doesn’t mean it’s spam. It might instead be a confused deity, like a Google HR person.

2. Keep an updated resume online. I learned the hard way about keeping it updated when I once didn’t update mine for 3-4 years. When I did have to update it I’d forgotten some awesome things I’d done in the meantime since, well, I’m just so awesome I guess. But seriously put lots of stuff on it - there’s no reason the Future Googler Search can’t find you too.

3. Get your CS degree. My exchange with Google would have been way less happy if I wasn’t in the process of finishing my degree. Instead of thinking, “maybe I’m more useful than I thought”, I’d be thinking, “why don’t I just go back to playing WoW and eating baby cookies all day.”

© Allen Pike. See also Twitter and Steamclock.